“The labs are back.”
"I bet no one bothers you in your office now, Doctor."
"Let's test her hearing. Blah blah blah blah shot. SHOT?!"
“Oh, him? We went to medical school together.”
“That’s Dr. Cray conducting research.”
“You have Lyme’s Disease. Do you spend any time in areas where there are a lot of deer?”
“Laughter is the best medicine. Please see the cartoonist on your way out.”
“Oh, him? He’s bored certified.”
“McGuire! Party of two!”
“I’m referring you to another doctor’s blog.”
“‘Keep it elevated’ refers to the leg, not the blood alcohol level.”
“Ever notice the medical programs never show the dashing young doctors doing paperwork?”
Poked/Prodded
“No, bring me the OTHER instrument tray.”
“Don’t worry. It’s a CT scan, not a ‘seedy’ scan.”
“Why do I have all these pagers and cell phones? Well, I AM an “On Call Ogist’.”
“Dear, are you sure you’re relaxing and not thinking about work?”
“Of course, feel free to get a second opinion.”
“Ooo. That’s cold.”
Clinical Trails
“Why clone sheep? They ought to clone more doctors.”
“I’m sorry. I thought I could save him, but there was just too much paperwork.”
“Finally! A man interested in my brain.”
“Sorry, Bernie. We found out about your rejuvenating jelly.”
“Don’t you think it would be better if you saved yourself?”
“Patients kept saying, ‘You don’t understand. You never smoked’. So I started and now I can’t stop.”
“What can I do? The princess isn’t on our list of specialists.”
“And now, my mother, Mrs. Knable, will put you to sleep with tales of her arthritis.”
“Don’t be embarrassed. It’s only a reptile dysfunction.”
“Don’t you have any regular doctors?”
email detox
“You have one repetitive stress injury, one carpal tunnel syndrome and ...thumbs.”